Today there were more ultrasounds on the little ones heads. Logan's results were positive. Leila's were not. Her ventricles in her brain have not improved. The gray headed doctor showed us the areas of concern and told us that some babies with this problem have long term problems and some don't. Not very re-assuring, but this doctor has been doing this longer than I have been alive. He said that we shouldn't worry right now and that they would keep a close watch on it. The thought of my baby girl having long term problems sends me into a spiral of despair and worry, but what can I do? Nothing but pray and trust that God will hear my prayers (and the prayers of thousands of his people) so that the doctors can help her and that little Leila will be healed with no long term problems. If ever we needed a miracle, it is now.
I recall that Job lost everything except his life and he struggled with it. It took 38 chapters before God answered Job. When God answered Job, He answered him out of the whirlwind and spent 4 chapters showing Job his power. Then Job realized who God was and God restored him.
Job 38:4 Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if you have understanding.
Job 38:6 Who has put wisdom in the inward parts? or who has given understanding to the heart?
Job 40:9 Have you an arm like God? or can you thunder with a voice like him?
Here's the truth about me. I'm struggling right now to see why this is happening. Amie keeps telling me that she is going to be ok. I love that Amie can have faith when I am struggling. I guess that's why God brought us together. With faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. I'm trying to have enough faith. Please God move this mountain.